Leave Me High and Dry
by Jaade
Summary: "It's BECAUSE I love you that I cannot be with you." The story of Remus Lupin, and Nymphadora Tonks in HBP, and a broken, fragile friendship with Fenrir Greyback. Complete.


**This is about the long year of separation suffered by Remus and Tonks. Set during HBP, and the song is Ride, by Lana Del Rey. It's an amazing song by an amazing artist, and I seriously recommend you listen to it, if you like that haunting, low-voiced angelic kind of music.**

**READ THIS: This story may be mature, but I'm not sure. It does contain a scene with sex, and there is swearing as well as slight violence. I'm not sure how old you are, and frankly, I don't care as long as you can stomach it. Thank you.**

**DISCLAIMER: I write fan fiction because I TOTALLY own Harry Potter. Not.**

**Oh and the thousand times over thing is from Kite Runner I think.**

**So here goes the fic, I'd really appreciate it if you would leave me a review, and you can also check out my other story, The Professor's Wife, also dealing with Remus/Tonks.**

_**Leave Me High and Dry**_

"Remus, I take it that you understand the risks and consequences of this mission?"

Remus stared at the ageing headmaster, slightly stunned.

"I do, sir. But… Am I not to have any contact…?" he stuttered. "I mean, do I…"

"Of course you are allowed to have contact, Remus." Dumbledore soothed. "Molly would have my head otherwise."

"Yes, but I mean…"

"I know what you mean, Remus." Dumbledore raised white eyebrows, his forehead crinkling like parchment, his blackened hand twitching on the table. "You mean your relationship with Nymphadora, am I correct?" he asked outright.

"Yes, sir."

"You know how much I am in favour of the magic of love, Remus. It is, after all, what has saved young Potter. In this case, I urge you to do as your heart desire, but I warn you, Remus, both for your safety and hers, that Fenrir Greyback is a very dangerous man. He will try to cut off all human contact from you, which will be primarily young Miss Tonks. Remus, I urge you to be very careful."

"I leave tomorrow." Something had flickered in Remus's face while Dumbledore was talking, fear, followed by a closed, odd expression. Dumbledore realised what he was thinking.

"Remus, I think you should only leave next month, after all you have to tie up some loose…"

"It won't take long to tie them up. I leave tomorrow." Remus snapped, uncharacteristically.

"I am sorry, Remus, but you are, after all, the only one who can…"

"Is that all, sir?"

"Yes Remus."

"I shall see you in two months, sir."

_I been out on that open road  
But you can be my full time daddy, white and gold  
Singing blues has been getting old  
But you can be my full time baby, hot or cold_

"Remus, WHAT has gotten into you?" Tonks yelled, pushing her boyfriend's chest, hard.

"Hush, Tonks. We're not alone." Remus touched her shoulder, a soft, manly touch from which she recoiled as if from a mousetrap. They were in the kitchen of the Burrow, arguing in voices that tried their best not to carry up to the occupants of the crowded house.

"I don't bloody care. WHY are you breaking up with me, Remus?"

"Because, Nymphadora, I love you."

"Let me get this straight, Remus." Tonks raised her eyebrows, her eyes swimming with tears. "You are leaving me because you love me?"

"I _told _you about the mission, you do not understand the position I am in!" Remus raised his voice, making Tonks even angrier.

"Fuck the mission; you can live with the werewolves while loving me, can't you?" Tonks shouted back, tears running down her pale cheeks.

"You are acting like a melodramatic CHILD, Dora!" Remus himself started shouting, his face whitening in anger. "You do not understand the consequences, you don't know who the hell Greyback is, you don't…"

"I'm an AUROR, you insufferable PRICK!" Tonks screamed, as two rooms away, Molly and Arthur looked up from tea, concerned.

"I don't give a SHIT as to what you are, Tonks. All I care is that you don't get hurt and you are making that bloody hard with your tears and your melodrama and you all out childishness, aren't you?"

"FUCK YOU, REMUS!" Tonks sobbed out, tears splotching her dress. "YOU HAVE A BLOODY PROBLEM YOU TELL ME, YOU DON'T MAKE EXCUSES!"

"I am NOT the one making fucking excuses!" Remus roared back, his face pure white with rage, as his hand hit the table, rattling the glasses.

"You're afraid of commitment, you fucking coward! That's it, isn't it and you are-" Tonks trailed, staring into his enraged golden eyes.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A COWARD?" Remus grabbed the nearest glass dish, and threw it against the wall, where it shattered into tiny pieces. "You do NOT understand the SERIOUSNESS and…"

He kicked the chair, and it toppled over as Tonks looked into his eyes, the angry golden staring back at her.

"What in the world is going on here!?" Arthur Weasley yelled at the couple, his wife behind him, face red.

Remus, for once, ignored the couple and kept staring at Tonks.

"I don't give a shit what you understand…" he growled at her, as she protested loudly.

"Remus!" cried Molly, surprised.

"Molly, don't interfere." Said Arthur, aware that the arguing couple hadn't noticed them.

"BUT I LOVE YOU." Sobbed Tonks. "Please, Remus, PLEASE." She resorted to pleading.

"Do you know how hard this is for ME? You playing the part of the lovelorn child, WHEREAS I HAVE TO MAKE YOU UNDER-"

"Remus, that's enough." Arthur finally intervened, dragging Remus by the arm into the garden, as Molly hugged Tonks, and let her cry on her shoulder, whispering words of meaningless comfort.

"Remus, you cannot just shout at her like that." Arthur consoled the angry man, a calm hand on his shoulder.

"She does not understand, Arthur, and I can't leave her. This isn't just fun and games for me, it's hard too." Remus sighed, calmed now.

"I know, I know it's difficult, especially so soon after Sirius, but you will see her after its over. You will, Remus."

"But she's just too good, isn't she?" Remus sighed bitterly, as he shook off Arthur's arm and stalked down the garden.

"Oh, God, Molly, he left me." Tonks sobbed to the older woman, who had noticed their relationship from day one.

"He'll be back, don't worry." Molly soothed as she stroked the girl's hair rapidly turning a mousy brown. "He was just angry that's all."

"He was frightening. He really was, I've never seen him so…" Tonks trailed off.

_Don't break me down, I been travelling too long  
I been trying too hard, with one pretty song_

"My name is Remus Lupin."

"Oh, I've bitten you, eh boy?" snarled Greyback, his putrid breath hitting Remus's face. "Oh, yes, I remember you… You're John Lupin's brat, that little _trusting _boy. My, my, _Lupin. _You're a man now?"

"Thirty years, Greyback. I don't age backwards." Remus stayed cool.

"Oh, so you're thirty six, eh, boy? Oh how they grow up so fast." Growled Greyback, pretending to wipe away an imaginary tear.

"So…Lupin, Lupin, Lupin… You'll want to join me after your unsuccessful bouts with the humans, eh?"

"Yes, Greyback." Lupin kept his reply short; he needed to save his energy.

"Whereabouts you from, eh?"

Remus wished he wouldn't make small talk; he really didn't want to smell his breath much longer.

"Teighcot, it's a little ways off Dublin." Remus answered honestly.

"Ah, Irish, I could tell by your accent… Tell me, Lupin. What brings you here?"

"I simply gave up." Lupin shrugged, simply.

"You can do magic, can't you, Lupin?" urged Greyback, and nudged Remus painfully.

"I do, and quite well." Again, Remus was painfully polite, and honest.

"Good, good. Tell you what, Lupin, you join us for supper, and you can sleep in the cave with us, eh?"

"Yes, Greyback."

"Good, good."

_I hear the birds on a summer breeze, I drive fast,_

_I am alone at midnight,_

Celestina Warbeck's voice added to the cacophony at the Burrow, high, keening notes piercing Remus's ear as he struggled not to look at the kids playing games in the background, or Bill and Fleur eating each other's faces off at the fireplace. And he thought the fire must be enchanted, or that he was losing his mind when the fire danced into shapes of a pretty woman, a bright young girl, with dark eyes and a vivid smile, and he thought why fire would do this? Why would anything do this?

And he thought darkly, guiltily of her pretty, white hands and her dancing eyes and her vivaciousness. He thought about her lips and the feel of them on his as he tried not to think of her breasts and how her skin felt on his bare skin. And he was trying, so bloody hard, he was trying, when Arthur sat next to him and put a friendly arm on his shoulder.

"You all right, there, Remus?"

"I'm fine." Smiled Remus, tightly.

"Right." Arthur looked unconvinced. "Werewolves all right, then?"

"Yes, they are I supposed." And again, Arthur saw the pinched, painful smile back on Remus's face as he realized with a jolt how many times he had seen the very same smile on Remus.

"What about Tonks?" he urged, feeling guiltily like his wife.

"What about her?" The tight smile sprung off Remus's face as soon as it had appeared.

"I was just wondering… about things and you know…" Arthur blustered.

"It's over and you know that. _You know that._" Remus snapped, accusatory.

"Right. Right, then." Arthur wiped his hands on his shirt before sloping off to talk to Harry and Remus turned back to the fire, trying to think of anything but his pretty girl.

"_What do I look like, Remus?"_

"_Like a piece of bubble gum." Remus laughed. It was the early days of their courtship, days of easy laughs and longing touches._

"_No, really, what DO I look like?" Tonks urged, grinning._

"_You've got to show me your real form first."_

_And her hair grew longer, and her cheekbones grew higher. Her eyes turned inky black, the same as her hair, which fell in waves and curls down her back, her nose straightened and her jaw strengthened._

_Remus stared at her, his jaw comically dropping open an inch._

"_You're beautiful. You're a…Dryad. You're a goddess." And he touched her with his scarred hands as he reminded himself of Hephaestus's love story._

"_Thanks." Her voice was still her own._

"_Why do you…morph yourself?" Remus asked, staring at her._

"_Well, my face is more or less the same, only slight changes, and I like pink."_

"_Yes but…if you look…why?" _

"_Look at me closely Remus. Look at me. Who do I remind you of?"_

_And he looked at her, took in her nose, and her jaw, and her rippling hair, and the proud tilt to her jaw as well, her deep black eyes, and it hit him strong in the face._

_Her face was almost exactly the same as Bellatrix Lestrange's countenance. _

And it was that face Remus thought of, on that lonely Christmas night.

_Been trying hard not to get into trouble but I  
I've got a war in my mind  
So I just ride  
Just ride_

"Lupin, what do you think of meat eating?"

"I think it's delicious, and necessary."

It was two days before full moon, and Greyback invited Remus for a stroll, out in the village. It was probably because he looked the most convincingly human out of all the werewolves, though Remus. HE had given up on trying to convert the others, and set his sights on their leader. If Greyback was convinced, they were all convinced. It was another of those conversations he would have for Greyback, whom, whilst truly evil, and menacing, seemed fixated on his opinion. Sometimes, thought Remus, when he talked about certain things, he seemed almost human.

"Yeah, but raw meat though. It's the bloody best, eh?" Greyback laughed.

"Of course. It IS rather hard to come by where I live though." Smiled Remus.

"Yeah, it's odd. I wonder why they liked their meat so cooked and disgusting, eh? Humans!"

"Burnt black!" Remus chortled.

"It's positively revolting!" Greyback snorted, and Remus perplexedly frowned at his use of such elocution.

"I'm hungry though." Continued Greyback, his eyes settling on a couple of five year olds. "Be back in a jiff."

Remus watched, with widened eyes as Greyback tore through a thicket separating them from the girls and sunk his teeth into one's throat, as he clawed at her, sucking greedily at the meat spilling from her skin, and making ungodly chewing noises in the dark of twilight. The other girl ran away, screaming, as Remus pressed his back into a tree, his eyes widening, angry tears welling up as he fought hard not to throw up his dinner.

"Just got hungry, Lupin. Want some?" Greyback was back, his hand wiping his dripping mouth.

"I. No thank you." Gasped out Remus.

"Hey, it's nature. It's what I do."

"But why?" Remus asked, as they resumed walking. "Why do you do it?"

"You know," Greyback looked at Lupin. "My name isn't Fenrir Greyback."

"Yes, that did sound oddly wolfish." Remus observed.

"You're one to talk!" laughed Greyback, grunting.

Remus permitted himself to smile.

"But what is your name, then?" he asked.

"It was, _was, _Lupin, Fenn Grey. Of the Grey family in Tipperary, up in the north. Got bitten at eight, by a rogue one. That's why I decided to talk to yeh, yeh know? Cause you're Irish too."

Remus never felt gladder for his sing-song accent. If it hadn't existed, he would be at the bottom, trying to convince the Omega wolves.

"But you couldn't go to Hogwarts, could you?"

"No. I wanted to though, so badly. Wanted it like I want to bite a girl's throat now. My da' old Fenwick Grey, he begged the headmaster but 'e said no. So they sent me to Eton instead, 'hoping I would be an "educated" werewolf."

"So why are you not, then?" asked Remus, bluntly.

Greyback snorted again.

"Couldn't stand the wizards after that. Bleeding hypocrites, pieces of shit they were. The Muggles preaching about them rights, and them freedoms, while in our world we've got werewolves not being able to attend school. Them tryin' to make gay rights happen, while in our world werewolves are lynched from trees. It isn't right, but it was dangerous timing to be liking the Muggle way of life."

"So what happened?" Remus found himself curious.

"So I come back, and I was twenty-five, and they all thinks I'm shite, even if I've got a wand. They branded me, and they thinking I've got time to waste being a guinea pig for the lot. That's where your da' comes in, John Lupin. 'E wanted me to test out some new potion or such for me, and I tell him no. He says he would end segregation, that he don't hate our kind. And I asked him to look at me, and tell me that 'e isn't scared of werewolves."

"What did he do?" This wasn't a part of the story his father told him.

"He did. Brave man, that. He looked me in the eye and told me that he wasn't that scared of werewolves, but that he would kill them all if he could, and that they, that _we _were worthless shits. And I bit his son."

Remus felt a pang, but swallowed it down, as he asked again.

"Why the other children, then?"

"You're real curious, eh, Lupin? Well, I tell you that I like the taste, like I tell everyone. But it isn't all true though. I like kids. Not like I like to bite them, although I do, but I like kids, like I want to be their da' or somethin'. I just like em, and so I take em over here and teach them to be like me."

"At that cost?"

"Yeah, at any cost. " Greyback looked at the sky, his sideburns facing Remus. "You know, Lupin, we can't ever be a da'. Like, what woman would want the likes of us, we can only see them from far, and if the man's like you, they walk away politely, and if it's like me, I bite her."

"But hasn't a woman ever loved you?" Remus asked, surely there must be someone.

"Nah, never. But I've gotten to be a da', Lupin. See those teenagers sulkin' around, sayin' they don't want to join in with us? Yeah, they're like my kids, raised them myself, I did."

"That's a lot more than can be said for me." Smiled Remus.

"Yeah, these kids…" gloated Greyback. "It's the same thing with all of them, yeh know? First, they're really young, and they annoy you, and they beg for your attention, but you gotta savour it, you gotta live with it. Because later in a few years, they don't want you there. _You _gotta run around after them, you gotta try to get their attention, and ask if you can be with them. They don't want you there no more." He sighed heavily.

Remus walked in silence. He had no idea that Fenrir Greyback, murderer, kidnapper, and savage could possess a thought like this one.

"I've been yakking too much!" Greyback exclaimed. "But you, Lupin? You've got a girlfriend, eh?"

"I…" Lupin didn't know whether to lie or not.

"Yeah, you do, Lupin! You've got a girlfriend! I see how you daze off, or you look into water, or you do stuff like that! I know you got a girl, Lupin!" Greyback laughed like a kid.

"Well, I…" Remus stumbled nervously.

"You don't got to worry, you know? I won't ever touch a girl that belongs to my friend. You _are _my friend, right, Lupin?" And for the first and last time, Remus caught childishness in Greyback's glance, a sort of longing hope.

"Of course I am." Remus said smoothly. He didn't know if he was lying or not, as he hated the murderer in him with a passion, yet he was sure that Greyback the man was, and could be a great friend of his.

"Yeah, I only thought you won't like to be my friend. You know, murderer that I am. But really, you don't worry, mate. I won't ever touch Lupin's girl. He's my friend." He repeated it, taking glory in the fact that he had a friend, an actual friend.

"You savour the days though, Lupin."

"I will." Remus nodded, although Greyback was unaware for the tatters that his relationship was in.

"Yeah, it won't be the same, I've heard. You treat her damn well, now. Or else she might run away when she _knows._ You make it right wonderful for her, these few days."

"I'll try, Greyback."

"You call me Fenn from now, Lupin. You're my friend."

_Dying young and playing hard  
That's the way my father made his life and art  
Drink all day and we talk till dark  
That's the way the road dogs do it - light 'til dark_

A sharp knock sounded on Tonks's door and she rushed to answer it. She expected burglars, or Death Eaters, or even Molly Weasley with a slice of pie but surely she did not expect Remus Lupin, thinner, paler and with windswept hair. But that was what she saw on the cold March night, leaning against the doorframe.

"Can I come in?" he asked, pleadingly.

She nodded and showed him in, her small, colourful apartment, with clusters of chocolate wrappers and the remains of a vase she broke five minutes ago littering the floor.

"What are you doing here?" Tonks asked him bluntly.

"I needed a place to contact Dumbledore. And…I wanted to see you, badly." He admitted, as she placed a bowl of food in front of him.

"SO you come to have me just when you want to and only when _you _want to?" she asked brusquely.

"Sorry. I'm so sorry." He clutched his mug of hot tea.

"Well, do you want to see Dumbledore, right?" she asked him, softening. "Is he going to come over, because I need to clear this place up?"

"No, he's Flooing his head here, that's what he said."

And as if by chance, Dumbledore's head popped up in Tonks's crackling fireplace as he smiled merrily at Remus and Tonks.

"Now this is a cosy sight! I would join you myself, but I have a lesson with young Harry in ten minutes, and it looks like you two are enjoying the couch to yourselves!" he chuckled.

"You wanted to tell me something, sir?" Remus got straight to the point.

"Do I have to leave?" asked Tonks.

"No, you may stay." Dumbledore said. "Now, Remus, I want you to abandon your mission effective immediately."

"Sir, I've made so much progress. I've actually managed to talk to Greyback and he…"

"Remus, we have a spy, who is passing information. It will be dangerous to both you and Nymphadora if Greyback hears that you have contact with the Order."

"But sir, _now_? I could actually bring him over to our side, I could, sir, if you give me some more time."

"Remus!" said Dumbledore. "You did not want to leave for this mission so why the sudden attachment to it? Greyback is a foul creature, and he is the last person I, or anyone else would want in the Order."

"We could turn him around, though…" Remus argued feebly.

"I don't think so, Remus." Said Dumbledore, his voice lowering. "We cannot continue this, because we don't know when your names will be released, understand me?"

"Yes sir." Remus's voice was a monotone.

"Good. I actually never expected it to go this far, for you to interact with Greyback. Well, I hear Harry coming. I'll see you soon, Remus!"

"I got through to him, you know." Remus' voice was hoarse.

"But he's evil, though. If you had convinced another one, that would be all right, but this is Greyback, he murders children for a living." Tonks soothed.

She kissed him on the cheek as he took he in his arms and kissed her, an unearthly, drawn out kiss, which she returned with favour as he began slipping off her dress and touching her on the soft, smooth breasts he had remembered and fantasised about the past few months. And as their lips mingles along with their sweat, he realized that he loved her, that he loved he so much. And he pressed against her, as he felt her getting more and more aroused as he rubbed his erection against her stomach, rough through his boxers and she fell into him, a dance of perfection.

"I love you." He whispered, after she had fallen asleep.

And perfection had to end, and it did, when Remus got up off the bed and dressed, putting on his clothes and washing his face. He slipped out of the house, unnoticed, guilt tripping him up every five minutes, a large lump of pain for his lover in his throat.

_Dying young and playing hard  
That's the way my father made his life and art  
Drink all day and we talk till dark  
That's the way the road dogs do it - light 'til dark_

"So, Lupin, can I tell you my targets?" Greyback asked, his face glowing in the heat from the fire.

"Sure." This wasn't something Remus agreed with, but he would.

"Well, this one is this girl called Lavender Brown, see her?" He procured a yearbook photo of a young, plump girl with a pretty face and curly hair, a former student. "Pretty eh, this one?"

"I suppose so, if you like that type." Remus admitted, disgusted.

"What about this lass? Gorgeous, but she's a Veela." And he showed Remus a picture of Fleur, smiling and waving.

"Yeah, she's young though." Breathed Remus.

"And my prime piece, this Auror woman. I can't wait to sink into her, mate." And he grinned at Remus, showing yellow teeth before brandishing a photo of Tonks and waving it in Remus's face.

He gasped, that Remus, and sat hard on the floor, his mind reeling and his heart was thumping tribal patterns in his chest. His breath came in sharp gasps as he stared at Greyback, shaking his head no.

"No…"

"What is it?" Greyback asked him urgently, noticing that Remus had collapsed.

"Not her…please…Oh God…" The pain in his throat grew stronger as he tried not to scream.

"Is she yours?" Greyback asked brusquely. "Mate, she your woman? Your girl?"

Slowly, Remus nodded, his eyes fixated on Greyback's yellow orbs.

"Hey, you don't got to worry then! I won't touch no Lupin's girl! I promised you, yeah?"

Remus only stared, fears dying slowly.

"Chin up, Lupin, I won't touch 'er. Promise. See, I'll even tear up the picture!"

And his huge, hairy hands did tear up the picture, and pieces of Tonks fell to the floor, fluttering.

"See, I don't even remember her. I promised my friend I won't touch Lupin's girl, eh?" Greyback smiled at the still stunned Remus.

"You would not touch her, for me?" breathed Remus, looking up at the murderer, the savage.

"For you, a thousand times over, mate! Won't touch her ever!" Greyback promised, baring his feral yellow canines.

Remus knew what he had to do as he drew his wand, and pointed it at Greyback's chin.

"Petrificus Totalus!" he shouted, as Greyback fell to the floor, his eyes paralysed open in a glare of surprise, fear and betrayal. Remus stood over him, wand held tight, feeling superior for the first time. His hand shivered. He realised that he could kill him, right now, and the entire Greyback group of wolves would follow him. He could cast the killing curse and watch as Greyback's eyes moved no more. He could cast the killing curse and make sure that no women or children were at risk again.

But he remembered his _friend._ The Greyback that wasn't insane, the man who was his friend. Who told him about his hopes for a woman, his joy in fatherhood? He remembered his longing glance as he stared at a family and his excited voice as he reminded Lupin about how to care for children. The Greyback who promised not to ever touch Tonks because he belonged to Remus, his friend.

And Remus Lupin lifted his wand and thought of Tonks, and cast a spell, whilst at the same time, Greyback tried to speak.

"But you're…my friend, Lupin." Gasped Greyback.

"_Obliviate." _

And Greyback's _friend, _Remus Lupin, walked out of the room, pausing to collect the tattered remains of Tonks's picture.

_Don't break me down, I been travelling too long  
I been trying too hard, with one pretty song_

"NOW! GO TO HOGWARTS CASTLE NOW!" screamed Tonks's wolf at Remus, a note of hysterical urgency in her voice.

And he Apparated immediately, only to find the confusion of a battle, where Death Eaters romped among students, trying to kill as many as they injured. He locked eyes with Tonks, who shouted at him:

"Dumbledore's coming, Remus! We just fight them off for now!"

And she whirled away to fling spell after spell at Rowle as his blonde hair became rapidly wetter and wetter with sweat as he tried to keep up with the Auror. At last she managed to stun him and watched, satisfied, as he fell to the floor, crumpled. As soon as she released her breath, a rotten hand with stinking nails caught her, and pulled her to him.

"Hello, girlie. I think you're pretty." She felt the grey, thick, odorous breath of Fenrir Greyback smash onto her face.

"Bloody hell, get lost!" she screamed at him.

"Oh, I'll have such a time with you…" he licked her earlobe fondly as he pressed into her against the wall.

"GET LOST!" she shrieked at him, trying to free her wand arm.

"No one can hear you scream, love. Now, should I bite you, and then rape you, or the other way round?"

"REMUS!" she tried screaming, knowing he wouldn't hear, and hoping he would.

"Hehehe…" laughed Greyback shortly. "Lupin's girl, eh? I'm gonna enjoy havin' you as I enjoyed biting 'im."

"Remus, please come quickly." Tonks whispered as Greyback seemed to stiffen over her, standing rigid as she wondered whether he planned to rape her _here._

Greyback slumped over Tonks the lights and screams of the battle, and lost, far away voices threatened at his head.

"_I won't ever touch Lupin's girl."_

"_Hey, you're my friend, eh?"_

"_You ARE my friend aren't you?"_

"_For you, Lupin, a thousand times over!" _

And he removed one arm before growling at her, making sure she understood.

"Not tonight, lassie, but I WILL have you. GO!"

"What?" Tonks was momentarily stunned.

"GO, YOU SILLY GIRL BEFORE I CHANGE MY FUCKING MIND!"

And Tonks fled quickly, trying to forget Greyback's mercy as hehowled in anger and tore out at the face of the person standing nearby, Bill Weasley, kicking him twice for good measure.

_For you, a thousand times over, mate._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

And the battle was over just as soon as it had begun, and Tonks found herself situated next to Remus in the hospital wing where they tried to calm the frightened teenagers, and he stole a glance at her, pale and shaking.

"Is B-Bill going to be all right?" asked Ron weakly.

"It was Greyback, wasn't it?" Remus mused thoughtfully. "His usual style is to bite under the mo…" His voice trailed off as he remembered the little girl.

"I've just had an encounter with him too, you know." Tonks informed them.

"What happened?" Madame Pomfrey weakly asked Tonks, her eyes widening in fear.

"Nothing, that's surprising. He pinned me against the wall, and I started calling for…for…"

"Remus, you called for Remus. I heard you." Ginny croaked and got up to look for Harry.

"Yes, well, and he just sort of stiffened, and told me to go, and go now. I don't even know why he did that though, I mean…. He was going to rape me, you know…"

She felt Remus trembling next to her, out of fear or anger she didn't know.

Harry came back, painfully reminding him of James after the Battle at Monksby Hill, and they discussed Bill's condition for a few moments before he dropped the bomb,

"Ron-Dumbledore's dead!"

"NO!" Remus felt someone shouting out, and he realised it was him as he wildly hoped for the red haired girl to deny it, and he sunk into a chair, defeated, praying, hoping that he wouldn't cry, or do something undignified in front of his students. He forced himself to raise his head, and talk about the battle, to debrief, until he heard her voice again, strained and tired. It made him want to die. It truly did.

"You see? She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten!"

"It's different. Bill will not be a full werewolf…"

"But I've told you a million times, I don't care, I don't care…" Her voice broke as she realised that she was holding his robes.

He forced himself to raise his head, and talk about the battle, to debrief, until he heard her voice again, strained and tired. It made him want to die. It truly did.

"You see? She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten!"

"It's different. Bill will not be a full werewolf…"

"But I've told you a million times, I don't care, I don't care…" Her voice broke as she realised that she was holding his robes.

"And I've told _you _a million times, that I'm too old for you, too poor, too dangerous."

Molly, Arthur and Minerva said their respective bits to the conversation which made Remus want to sink through the floor. Even Ginny, after her boyfriend left with McGonagall added her two pence, saying that she thought "Professor Lupin would actually be really suited with Tonks…"

"You arr' being stupid, Ree-mus." Fleur drawled at him, her lovely blond eyebrows rising.

"I am not!" He countered heatedly.

"Professor Lupin?" Ron's tentative voice broke out.

"What?" Lupin snapped, uncharacteristically. "Do you want to say your little piece too? Why don't you all stand in a line and quote poetry to me?"

The expression on Ron's face indicated that he was going to say something similar, but he quickly backtracked.

"What's going to happen to Hogwarts?"

"Without Dumbledore, Hogwarts is nothing, Ron." Arthur told his son.

"They probably will close it, but hopefully, only until the war lasts. I'm not sure what the adm-"

"In what way are you dangerous to Tonks, Remus?" Molly cut in on his conversation.

_Couldn't she bleeding STOP?_

"Molly, maybe you shouldn't interfere…" Arthur protested weakly before Fleur's voice drowned him out.

"No, zees I need to hear! How arr you dangerous, Ree-muss?"

"She almost got attacked by Greyback tonight! Because of ME!" He snapped at the Veela and her mother in law.

"HE LET ME GO, YOU PRICK!" Tonks shouted at him, her face red.

_For you, a thousand times over, mate._

"Because he saw Bill, probably. He realised a man was tastier or such, he WILL take you, Tonks."

"_Why _did he let her go through?" Arthur frowned thoughtfully. "Greyback never leaves a victim unscathed, never."

Remus tried to explain, tried to lie, but he found a lump catching in his throat as an overpowering wave of despair rushed through him and he turned to Tonks helplessly.

"I can't… Not…" And rushed out of the room, slamming the door.

"Tonks?" Fleur asked, quietly.

"Yeah, Fleur." Tonks replied, dully.

"You go after him, _sil vous plait? _I think he is…scare of what will 'appen to you."

"Go after him Tonks." Molly agreed softly.

And she did.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The only thing Remus thought of as he sat in the dark, dingy DADA classroom was the fact that Greyback let Tonks go. He tried to make excuses for it, tried to not think about what he had been pushing back for months now, but he heard an Eton-educated rough voice in his head, and the growled out promise, and he remembered the story of Fen Grey, and he nearly hurled himself out of the window.

_For you, a thousand times over, mate._

He let her go, he kept his promise, Fenrir did, even after Remus cursed him, and broke their friendship, he broke his promise but Fenrir had kept it.

_I won't ever touch Lupin's girl._

He remembered how he could have been friends with the killer; he could have brought him around to the ideas, kept him from his strict doctrines. He wanted to be a father, just like Remus, he wanted a family, a woman to love, all the things Remus had. He didn't want much, only a friend and children, and for a few, brief months, Fenrir thought he had both, because Remus didn't _pretend _to be his friend, he was his friend.

_But you are my friend, aren't you, Lupin?_

And he thought about the longing, almost childish look in Greyback's eyes as he said the word friend, and after Remus proclaimed himself as his friend, how Fenrir would treat him so delicately, as if he would revoke his friendship with a single word. And Remus remembered the Marauders, and he wished on people like them to befall the lonely luckless Greyback, and he hoped that he would find a friend that wasn't so fickle, and pathetic and despairing like Remus.

And he thought of Dumbledore, how he fell from the tower, and how his blue eyes wouldn't twinkle, and he felt the first sobs coming to his throat as he got up, fists laced with red-hot anger.

_For you, a thousand times over, mate._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Remus?"

Tonks called as she approached him, he was standing against the wall, his hands over his face, which was braced against the wall.

"Remus?"

He nodded though his hands as she gently pried them away, only to gasp.

His face was wet.

She had never seen him cry before, not when Sirius died, not when Emmeline died, not when they broke up, not when he returned, and she didn't know what to do except pull him onto her shoulder and it was there that Remus John Lupin, werewolf, betrayed and betrayer, finally broke. He did not sob and cry out loudly, this was, after all, Remus Lupin. Instead, his shoulders shook softly and his breath came in ragged, hitched gasps as he fought to say something, and Tonks stroked his soft hair, hoping and praying. He looked up, still crying, and looked into her eyes.

"He—he was my friend…"

_For you, a thousand times over, mate._

"He was all of our friends, Remus." Soothed Tonks, her own eyes beginning to sting as she looked at her lover, her strong, protective Remus dissolve into helpless tears.

"No…Greyback…" he spoke. "He was my friend, he was so...happy to be my friend, he was so happy and I betrayed him. I Obliviated him but he still remembers that, he promised he won't ever touch you because he was my friend, he was my friend, Tonks."

And he laid his head on her shoulder and tried not to think of Dumbledore falling.

_For you, a thousand times over, mate._

"Oh, Remus…" she cried.

"I love you, I love you…" He muttered into her shoulder.

"Oh God, Remus, please, no."

"I missed you, I love you, _please._"

_You make it right wonderful for her, these few days._

"I love you too!" she cried back at him, knowing they sounded like Scarlett and Rhett, but she didn't care, she didn't care because she was so happy, and yet so sad.

"Marry me!" His face was still buried into her hair and she could feel he was still in tears, as she began to cry herself.

"YES!" she almost screamed, sobbing hysterically. "YES, YES REMUS!"

"You would?" He asked her, his face a mask of delight. "You would marry me?"

"Of course, and we could have _children!" _she squealed, crying harder.

"Children!" Remus was delighted, wonderful. "Two children!"

_First, they're really young, and they annoy you, and they beg for your attention, but you gotta savour it, you gotta live with it._

"I love you so much!" sobbed Tonks.

"You would actually marry me?" Remus asked again, incredulised.

"For you, anything, a thousand times over!" she told him ecstatically.

And Remus buried his head in Tonks's sweet smelling, soft _pink _ hair as he tried to stop himself crying again.

_For you, a thousand times over!_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**I'm done!**

**I was going to portray Greyback as the cold, calculating villain like most fics, but I also wanted to see the human side. And this fic turned out to be mostly about the friendship, or the broken friendship, between Remus and Greyback. **

**Anyway, please please review, it would make me a very happy person thanks. **

**Love,**

**Jade.**


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